Jillian Oetting

I'm making a case for why context matters—because without it, we miss the full story. Through three personal and professional examples, I explore how mental health isn’t just a diagnosis or a behavior; it’s shaped by what people carry, what they’ve survived, and what they’ve learned to expect. I can't live in the black-and-white. I live in the why. And when we take time to understand the why, we begin to see people differently—with empathy, depth, and humanity.

I’ve always felt a deep connection with the misunderstood. It’s part of the reason I love grief work. Because grief is misunderstood all...

In this post, I explore why shame, guilt, self-hate, and blame have no place in the therapy room—or in your self-concept. Using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, I unpack how these parts often mask as self-awareness but actually block healing. Real growth comes from curiosity, accountability, and compassion—not punishment. You can’t heal what you still hate. And you don’t have to earn your worth by tearing yourself down first.